Creeping Death

Today’s field trip to the cemetery reminded me of that feeling. Death, to me, has a very distinct feeling, one of a creeping sort. The song titled Creeping Death by Metallica puts this feeling into perspective: “Die by my hand I creep across the land…. Rule the midnight air, the destroyer Born I shall soon be there, deadly mass I creep the steps and floor, final darkness Blood” Even though the song is talking about a much different subject, the same still remains true. Certain things are associated with death, and every time I set foot on a cemetery or a hospital, I am immediately reminded. It was when I was walking down the main sidewalk of the cemetery when I had a flashback. One of the most recent funerals I have attended was my father’s mother Mimi. She was my father’s only and closest family besides his sister who was born before him out of wedlock, and consequently put into adoption due to the circumstances. They never knew each other until later in life when they finally met up. She is in the music industry and she is very famous now, fortunately she was not yet famous when they first started forming a relationship. When Mimi died is was not a huge emotional blow to my dad but also my aunt Faith (My dad’s sister). They immediately started making funeral arrangements but the weight of her death had already taken a huge effect on my father. She died completely unexpectedly from cardiac arrest, and she was quite young in her early fifties. I have not ever seen my father in a state like that. He cried constantly and locked himself in his room for almost three days straight. My father never cries. Ever. I said all this to say that when I was in the cemetery today I had a flashback to the actual gravesite of her funeral. There were so many people there, but I think it was more for them to see my aunt Faith than to actually morn my grandmothers passing. People can be so shallow. Unless you have ever experienced loss, I guess it is hard for you to empathize with it. It is so delicate and it affects everyone so differently. You yourself have no idea of knowing how you will react to it until it creeps into your own life. That is how it was for my father. He had no idea of knowing she was even close to dying. It just showed up. If I have learned anything from these experiences and these reflections it is not to take death lightly. It is very real and it has no rules. It creeps along. And you never know where it will turn up. Be careful with your intentions and with what you say around death and grieving. You could end up bruising an already painful spot. Reflect on your own life and it’s direction. Let not traditions of men get in between you and your goals; do not ever let fame take the front seat. Not only in your own personal life, but also in your intentions like the minds of the many heartless people who attended Mimi’s funeral just to say they saw a celebrity. Everyone experiences death and grief. What will you do with it?