
When we were reading the poems in class Thursday I was immediately reminded of something I experienced lately. My grandma died about a year ago. She was basically my dad’s whole family, so her death was very devastating to not only my dad but also to our whole family. My dad’s father died when he was very young, and he had no siblings, that he knew about…but that’s another story. My family has been a part of lots of churches in the area so we were visited by many “religious” people, and all I can remember is every single person one after the next trying so hard to come up with something “spiritual” to say. Anyone who has ever experienced loss understands what I’m talking about.
“She is in a better place”
“You will see her again someday”
“The Lord calls everyone at their time”
“Everybody has to die someday”
All the while all being the farthest thing from what I wanted to hear…
“I love you and I’m here for you if you need anything.”
What has happened to this phrase? Do people not realize that grief hurts? I’m tired of “religious people” trying desperately trying to fit stereotypical phrases into a broken heart. It does not fit.
I was invited to a retreat to sing this summer for teens and college kids. A friend of mine had invited a girl to come with her that was not saved, so maybe she could experience Christ on the trip. The second day into the trip there was word from our hometown that three very well known boys on the community had been in an accident and they were all killed. They happened to be best friends with the lost girl and she was in immediate hysteria. After that I heard everyone trying to feed her the same lines. I do not want to come off heartless, I mean I know that in grievous times you are not what to say in condolence. All I know, is that when I was in that situation those phrases made my hurt sting. When you experience pain, you are very vulnerable and not quite open to receive spiritual doctrine.
In these circumstances, let us not try to create such a spiritual persona. I propose that we come to each other in love, and love on the people, and forget the “traditions of men” and the traditional sayings. Sometimes saying nothing at all is best. Let Jesus speak the loudest. He always knows what to say. And he always knows when the person is ready to receive.
3 comments:
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You said: "I’m tired of 'religious people' trying desperately trying to fit stereotypical phrases into a broken heart."
Me too!!
This is a beautiful and meaningful post. Thank you.
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